it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
