Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
