bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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