When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
