you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I party with great urgency now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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