the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
