I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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