I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
