How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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