As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do vagina's smell?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
