I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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