sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
