Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
