Where are you?
In a non slutty way
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
