About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
