I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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