we have officially lost it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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