Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
