come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize