Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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