Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i now understand why vodka
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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