apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
