Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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