Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
