dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
