Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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