pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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