meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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