I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
