everyone is single if you try hard enough
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
