hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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