Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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