college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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