I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
