the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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