nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
