we're blogging at a bar
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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