sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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