He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize