This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
