Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
