Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
