What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
