Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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