Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
