Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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