dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize