Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize