fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
