it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
