THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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