can we get nightvision for the apartment?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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