okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was CRYING into my vagina
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You are a genius and a whore.
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