Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
