my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
