When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
