First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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