I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You made out with two different species that night
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
