Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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