i can't believe i had my finger in that
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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