I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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