my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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