with your own penis?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
