i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
