Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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