Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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