My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize