Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
