we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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