Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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