My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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