I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
love makes seman taste better
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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