hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
