PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize