I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
